Kristen's profile"The camera makes everyo...PhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
"The camera makes everyone a tourist in other people's reality, and eventually in one's own.”Susan Sontag, New York Review of Books 18 Apr. 1974 |
Welcome to my corner of the web. Who am I? Well, that is a big question. I'm an author; a recruiter; a consultant; a daughter, sister, niece; a 14th Century Frenchwoman (upon occasion); a well connected individual; someone who ponders life; a prolific blogger (I have several other blogs, but this is my most personal!) Feel free to drop me a note.
July 02 "Love The One You're With"? Sometimes blunt comments from your friends and lovers are the best way to put your life in perspective. Sort of like pulling off a bandaid: quick sting and smarts for a bit afterward, but time for the shield protecting the wound to come off so that the air and light can help in the healing process. I had dinner tonight with a friend of mine who has been single since she and her partner broke up about three years ago. I've been listening to her stories of online dating since then, and every story she tells me gives me the impression that she leads people on. She insists that isn't it, she just "knows" very quickly if someone is going to fit or not. I argued that you cannot decide if someone is a potential match based on a profile and 20-30 lines of exchanged text via emai/IM/chat. My point is that you have to at least have some *meaningful* conversations. Dating is like job searching: first impressions are important but not what is going to get you the job. Trust me, I know. I've been a recruiter for the last seven years. (So has she, I might add!) I don't really like online dating. It's a fine way to build up your "candidate pool" but nothing takes the place of meeting someone. Let's exchange a few emails, talk on the phone, then sit down for some 1:1 time. People online have two strikes against them. 1) They are on their best behavior 2) The are nervous. Especially men. I've been casually seeing an old lover of mine the last couple of months. We've known each other for over a dozen years. That chemistry has been kind of fun to rekindle, but the reasons we never "dated" still apply. We aren't exclusive, and for me the fact that it really doesn't bother me tells me all I need to know about my feelings on this relationship: fun and flirty, but if it became platonic tomorrow, no harm done. To be honest, I'm being lazy. I don't want to go through the bother of meeting, getting to know someone, blah blah blah. I'm not sure I'm ready for a committed relationship in my life right now. The last one left a really nasty taste in my mouth. But I do like having someone to do things with; current guy likes the occasional booty call but doesn't really want to put any effort into more than that. I need to find a nice happy medium. Ah well. Enough philosophic postulations on my love life. Have a great weekend one and all. Happy 4th July! July 01 Never ending circle You know when life brings something in your life around in a full circle? Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Lessons to learn, debts to be paid, all those myriad things we seem to accrue as "experiences" as we move along the wheel of life. Yes, I see old threads in the tapestry of my life reemerging. Some I have intentionally pulled to the fore, others are being brought by the great Weaver. As with everything else in my life, one thing I can be sure of: IT'S NEVER BORING. June 30 Do you ever hate the way the written word conveys ideas? My written communications are usually pretty clear, but every now and then I look at a note or email or IM conversation I've had with someone and cringe because I realize I come off "wrong" (bitchy, snippy, arrogant, stupid, take your pick.) I had that happen with someone today. Our relationship has a few communication glitches to begin with, and it's something I'm working on, but add total tonal ships in the night, and it can be frustrating. For someone that deals with communication as sort of a given strength, it can be doubly frustrating. And my friend is an ABYSMAL typist; half the time I cannot cipher out what he's written! But what are you going to do? Move on. Live and learn. June 29 "No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should"-DesiderataHave you ever wondered about your "life's work", in the sense that your raison d'etre or overall purpose in this life?
I have been lucky enough to recognize part of my own purpose or calling, and to recognize when that purpose is getting ready to "activate", if you will. In my own case, I have some unique skills and abilities that help other people move onto new phases of their lives. Sometimes this process is short, like exposing them to a new activity or introducing them to someone that will become important to them. Sometimes it's just a conversation or series of them.
But other times it's a very long process, something that is built in steps over longer periods of time. Sometimes those steps are years in the process, building up to a personal epiphany for the other person. At some point they will be open to listening or learning whatever message it is that I have to teach (or impart or whatever.) But for *me* the important thing is recognizing that I'm a *catalyst*. And one of the things about being a catalyst is inherent in the definition:
-something that causes activity between two or more persons or forces without itself being affected.
- a person or thing that precipitates an event or change: His imprisonment by the government served as the catalyst that helped transform social unrest into revolution. That whole "without itself being affected" piece is part and parcel of the lessons *I* am tasked with learning. Being someone that makes emotional connections with others (sometimes to my own detriment!) I often have to keep a certain amount of distance. Feeling a tug to *help* someone without becoming embroiled in whatever self-actuation they are undergoing can be tough. And some of the situations I've found myself in the past make it mighty difficult.
So right now, a couple of people I know (actually more than a couple...several) are entering or already in that epiphany phase and I'm sort of mid-wifing them through portions of it. They don't have any clue that I'm doing this, of course. But there is one person in particular that I'm trying to remember to keep that distance from, because if I don't it could have some far reaching effects on *my* process. I just realized over the last few days that this is what is happening in our relationship, and it is helpful because I have a context for this swirl of impressions and feelings I've been dealing with and been confused by the last few weeks.
Mystery solved, epiphany attained, thoughts processed. I may now return to my regularly scheduled life :) June 28 Are You In A Play? I wrote this today for my FB profile. It occurs to me that FB gives people from my past a glimpse into my present, and that some of those friends go back farther than others, and may be wondering what the heck some of the pictures and posts I've been making recently are about. If you knew me in HS but not in college, I realize that you might think I'm a bit loony, so here you get a brief synopsis of my involvement in the SCA, or Society for Creative Anachronism, which many of the people I call friends, and share a connection to FB, also belong to. First of all, the SCA is a 44-year old, non-profit educational group dedicated to the study and recreation of the history, arts, sciences, and culture of the Middle Ages. (Yes, a version of this is on my resume.) For a complete history of our organization, please visit: http://sca.org/officers/chatelain/sca-intro.html. So what does that mean? Well, in it's basic form, we are a live-action role play group. It's easiest to use one or two comparisons. The Civil War reenactment group and the Mountain Men are other similar groups. But I think it's closer to say that our nearest cousin is the Renaissance Festival to put things in context for people. There are differences: our events are not scripted. We adopt a "persona", a character and a personality for that character that we portray while we are "in situ". Our group has a cross-section of times and countries from roughly 600-1600 AD, so we aren't all in, say, Elizabethan England in 1598. As a non-profit organization, we often put on demonstrations as schools, libraries, sometimes in community celebrations. We welcome questions, and most of us that have been with the Society for any amount of time have been known to shepherd visitors around (I did that this weekend.) I found the SCA in college in 1987. Several of my sorority sisters were involved, and considering that my minor was Medieval Studies, it wasn't a great leap of faith to assume I would fit in and have a blast. Many young people start in the SCA in college. For many men it is the lure of the heavy combat: armor, swords and shields, chivalry. We have tournaments, feasts, revels etc. Keeping in mind that we also practice skills such as weaving, brewing, cooking, illumination/calligraphy, costuming, and numerous others, our arts and sciences aspect also appeals to a very wide variety of individuals. But beyond the activities that bind us, there is one thing all of seem to have and believe in: a sense of community revolving around the precept of personal honor. In a word, we call it chivalry. In practice it translates to a hundred different types of behaviors and beliefs that all share an open-mindedness, willingness to help others out, belief in community as a sort of extended family, and honesty. I was fairly involved in the SCA in college, and took a brief hiatus after I graduated and moved back home with my folks for a couple of years; my "home" barony was in the Dayton, OH region (also close to the Cincinnati, OH group.) When I ended up moving to Cincinnati in 1992, I again became very involved with the local group. In 1995, when I made the decision to move to the Pacific Northwest, one of the things that made the decision easy for me was knowing that I had a group of friends with similar interests and values waiting to meet me. Yes, I'm serious. We have over 30,000 documented members and at least that many or more non-paying members around the world. So when I moved it was with faith that I would make friends once I got here, and I did. They are still my closest friends here and also in OH. About ten years ago, I ended up taking a "break" from the Society, as many people do for various reasons. Some people outgrow it. Some people lose interest (it takes an enormous amount of time and commitment to make it a "lifestyle".) Others find that having a family puts a damper on their enjoyment. Sometimes it's financial. In my case I burned out then I started dating someone "mundane" (what we call the "outside world") who, although he went to a couple of events with me, had no interest in the whole thing. Then I got a job seven years ago working weekends. But I have missed the SCA. As I get older, I realize that I want to be with people who share my interests, beliefs, and values. I always felt that the SCA was a family for me, and my friends that I met via the Society remain some of the strongest, most integral parts of my extended network. So now, I'm making the effort to try and go to some events, have some fun, and rediscover something that has had a far-reaching effect on me. In HS, I was an avid horseback rider. When I first joined the Society, Equestrian Events were not common. It's only been in about the last 10-15 years that they have become a part of our culture (mostly from insurance needs, definitely not out of a lack of interest!) So I'm moving back into that realm and combining the two, which is why so many pictures of horses this weekend. So, there you have it. The introduction to Landinn , my "alter ego" of the last twenty-odd years. From my collection/tastes to yours. Yes, I have an eclectic range.
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